I can't sleep well tonight, my best friend just went into Hospice. What does this really mean to me? I have trouble wrapping my mind around this concept. I will use my blog to help me get clear about my feelings and deal with them.
I knew that things were changing a couple of months ago when we met for lunch. She wasn't feeling well, but still met me at one of our favorite restaurants. We talked, laughed and ate; something we are very good at. When we left to go to our cars, I said bye like always and she said adios like always, but it felt different, instead of getting into my car I watched her walk to her car and thought "this might be our last lunch together like this". I was overcome with emotion and that moment in time has been cataloged into my heart.
The time since then has been visits to the hospital, 2 brain surgeries, doctor meetings, rehab, more hospital visits and finally a family meeting which I attended that she read a document about her wishes as she is entering this last phase of her life. I am overcome with feelings.
Laughter has always been a large part of my friend's personality and together the 2 of us laugh just as easily as breathing. My husband said last night that if he were to sum up our friendship, it would be: laughter. He could always find us laughing at almost anything, and trust me, we are both really funny. In fact, this just made me laugh....
Thank God, she still has her sense of humor through all this crap of sickness and chemo and bodily fluids and bouts of memory loss.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
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