Thoughts of my friend...

It has been 3 weeks since she passed away and now I find myself "feeling cheated". I see older women out to lunch together and I think, that was supposed to be us. We were friends til the end, I just notice that she is really gone and I miss her. Want to pick up the phone and then remember. These feelings come and go, and they hurt.

Time for Grieving

My friend died Sunday evening. I can't seem to speak about her in the past tense yet. I still can't really believe she is gone. I feel that the laughter is gone from my life.

My best friend is dying of cancer

I can't sleep well tonight, my best friend just went into Hospice. What does this really mean to me? I have trouble wrapping my mind around this concept. I will use my blog to help me get clear about my feelings and deal with them.



I knew that things were changing a couple of months ago when we met for lunch. She wasn't feeling well, but still met me at one of our favorite restaurants. We talked, laughed and ate; something we are very good at. When we left to go to our cars, I said bye like always and she said adios like always, but it felt different, instead of getting into my car I watched her walk to her car and thought "this might be our last lunch together like this". I was overcome with emotion and that moment in time has been cataloged into my heart.



The time since then has been visits to the hospital, 2 brain surgeries, doctor meetings, rehab, more hospital visits and finally a family meeting which I attended that she read a document about her wishes as she is entering this last phase of her life. I am overcome with feelings.



Laughter has always been a large part of my friend's personality and together the 2 of us laugh just as easily as breathing. My husband said last night that if he were to sum up our friendship, it would be: laughter. He could always find us laughing at almost anything, and trust me, we are both really funny. In fact, this just made me laugh....

Thank God, she still has her sense of humor through all this crap of sickness and chemo and bodily fluids and bouts of memory loss.

Health Care and Christians! What's Up With That?

Well, I am overwhelmed with feelings and thoughts about my Country today. I hear alot about the violent threats to legislators in US Congress and I am very sad about that. I wish the health reform was stronger to include universal health care. Health care for everyone in U.S. is an issue very close to my heart and values. I am a Progressive Christian and judged by my strong feelings toward social justice. I don't understand being a Christian and not caring about the health and welfare of people in my community. Do you have to be rich to be able to afford health insurance? What?? Or receive affordable health care?? How can they be Pro-Life and anti health care for all. What is the threat to helping others with government funds? Now, the poor uninsured people I know, have to go to the Emergency room with cold or flu issues with no follow up with a doctor and a cost to them and to us. Is this the value added health care we boast about. I can't help but think some people are angry because they "got theirs" and too bad for the others... who cares. I know this is a little scattered, my feelings are going in many directions.
And what about this violence?? I don't get it.

Pet Peeves

Yesterday I heard on a local radio station 4 women talking about their pet peeves. I thought I would write down some of mine.
One thing that really bugs me and I can't help notice is bad grammar, for example, double negatives like I don't never...or mispronunciations like calling the grasshopper infestation in Tucson the plag instead of pronouncing it it Plague with a long a sound.
Another pet peeve would be people who love to talk and don't stop to let anyone else get a word in. I mean, can't they see that they are boring everybody... can't they look outside of themselves and get a clue.
That is all for now, I will probably find a few more pet peeves now that my mind is turned in to that wave length. Signing off....

A New Year for Me

This past February, I had a full knee replacement on my right knee. It has been a tough recovery (pain and comfort wise) but rather easy mobility wise. My walking has improved 100% over the past few years. I can now tackle walking around a store even to the back (you know, where they keep the milk). I get impatient though and think my healing is over, but it is only 10 weeks out, plenty of improvement, but not totally up to full use yet. And I get really exhausted in the evening after a busy day. I am working 2 days a week for a psychologist downtown Tucson in the remodeled Barrio area. I enjoy the work and I enjoy that I only work part time. I also work part time for the AZ Region, Disciples Women's Ministries. Just put on the annual spring event in Tempe, good attendance, theme: Building Bridges. Keynote Cathy Nichols AZ Missionary from Palestine/Israel for the past 8 years. I learned alot.

Ecology Passion

I am leading a discussion group tonight about the environment. I belong to a peace and justice group called: Disciples Peace Fellowship. We just started an Arizona chapter and our series on Peace and Justice covers different topics including poverty, sexism, racism, non-violence and tonight I am covering environmental concerns both spiritual and real world oriented. We are going to hear scripture from Joel about his plight with locusts and the earth's dispair and discuss how we as Christians can contribute to the Earth's healing and nature's brilliance. I hope we have a good turnout, we are meeting in a local library meeting room. Stay tuned for more.